If Programming Publications Wrote Submission Guidelines in Code

Programming publications proclaim their review criteria in cryptic coding language, with the help of ChatGPT

Submission guidelines can be confusing, especially if, like me, you’re scanning those “Write For Us” pages to ensure you pass the Turing Test. And let’s not even get started on generating content by feeding ChatGPT with your favorite editor’s writing style in an attempt to clear the bar. Just kidding, please don’t do that.

But, humor publications have the best style guides in my opinion. It’s because they know that to keep you on your toes, there’s got to be pun-filled content, while also making it clear who’s the real boss (hint: it’s always the editor)!

If you’re already a writer here you probably know the style guide. Or, if you’re one of those rare readers out there who’ll actually read this stuff, you should submit your story to this pub right away!

In any case, I’m trying to create a quirky submission guide for programming publications using code. Eventually, I’ll introduce you to a new humor publication.

One of my favorite instruction guides is ‘The Hit Job’ by ‘thejujueye’. It’s hilarious and the primary reason I’m motivated to put my ChatGPT-induced algorithmic skills to good use for a programming style guide today.

Let’s start.

HelloWorld() , main() , begin any way you want to.

Handling Submissions

if (new writer) {
  select Typeform and submit a story link;
} else {
  send us a draft, or submitted story if you're impatient;
}

Working? Great. I’ve received the first submission.

The next steps are to ensure the title, subtitle, and images are correctly set.

Here’s a style guide in Java:

if(article.title && article.subtitle && article.image === "unsplash"){
  //Do nothing
} else if (article.image === "DALL-E"){
  //Do nothing
} else {
  //Editor can change images, to make it look beautiful 
  // and save you from copyright woes!
}

Wait, I missed talking about click baits and optimizing titles.

Let’s write a different algorithm and convert it to code. Here’s a Python implementation:

title = input('Enter article title: ')
subtitle = input('Enter article subtitle: ')

image = input('Select image from Unsplash or free-stock images: ')

if not image_ownership_clear:
    change_image_to_save_copyright_woes()

if title_is_clickbait:
    ask_for_change()

if title_is_abstract:
    chatgpt_for_better_title()
    collaborate_with_author()

Want to learn how to implement the above algorithm in Swift? Here’s one-way using enums:

enum Article {
    case title
    case subtitle
    case image(source: String)
    case ownership(clear: Bool)
    case clickbait(changeRequest: Bool)
    case abstract(collaborate: Bool)
}

func processArticle(_ article: Article) {
    switch article {
    case .title, .subtitle:
        // Determine article title and subtitle
    case let .image(source):
        // Select image from Unsplash or free-stock images
    case let .ownership(clear):
        // If image's ownership isn't clear, I'll change it to save you from copyright woes
    case let .clickbait(changeRequest):
        // If title is clickbait, ask for a change
    case let .abstract(collaborate):
        // If title is abstract, collaborate with author and ChatGPT to create a better title
    }
}

Much cleaner.

Next up, the dreaded task of coding submission guidelines for CTAs.

Here’s an initial code for CTAs and Medium referral links using Swift and SwiftUI:

func promoteStory(isBehindPaywall: Bool) {
    if isBehindPaywall {
        let ctas = getNumberOfCtas()
        let editorHappiness = calculateInverseProportionalHappiness(ctas: ctas)
        showDefaultMediumMembershipPopup()
    } else {
        addReferralLinkManually()
        print("Feel free to promote links at the bottom of your story")
        print("as long as your story serves the reader")
    }
}

Now, let’s set the guidelines for accessibility. This is important as image-based code snippets aren’t accessible to visually impaired readers.

if (images_have_text):
  write_in_alt_text
else:
  change_into_code_blocks_or_gists_or_anything_other_than_images

The Review System

RevertStatus is used to indicate the status of a review, while CompilerStatus is used during the editing process to scan and check the text in your piece.

The following piece of code is the barebones of our editorial system:

enum RevertStatus {
  case success
  case passed
  case lost
  case dontWantToHurt
}

enum CompilerStatus {
  case success
  case failed
  case errors
  case reject
}

func checkStatus(status: RevertStatus, compilerStatus: CompilerStatus) {
  switch status {
    case .success:
      print("We'll open a pull request and publish your piece.")
    case .passed, .lost, .dontWantToHurt:
      print("We've passed. Or we lost it. Or we just don't want to hurt you.")
  }
  
  switch compilerStatus {
    case .success:
      print("We'll open a pull request and publish your piece.")
    case .failed, .errors, .reject:
      print("Though, we don't know the errors to tell you why we're editing.")
      print("Although we can't explain why we're making changes,")
      print("we can still reject your work midway if we find something fishy")
  }
}

Advice on Content

And now, the most commonly asked question: How can I increase the chances of getting my story published on a platform?

Here’s the incomplete algorithm:

• If your story is less than 2 minutes long, you may have fewer chances of being accepted, possibly.
• If it’s related to politics, you can forget about it — we don’t do politics here.
• If it’s not a first-hand experience, it may be accepted or rejected based on our instincts and data.
• And if we’ve already covered that topic ten or more times previously, we’ll pass as the readers don’t want to read the same material over and over.

function acceptanceRate(storyLength, storyTopic, firstHandExperience) {
  if (storyLength < 2) {
    return Math.random() * 0.5;
  } else if (storyTopic === "politics") {
    return "Rejected. Reason: Programming is politics free for us.";
  } else if (!firstHandExperience) {
    return "We may or may not accept. Depends.";
  } else if (coveredTopic >= 10) {
    return "We'll probably reject.";
  } else {
    return "Submit what you want and we'll review it."
  }
}

A Note on AI-generated Content

Here’s an implementation in Python:

#Python Code

#Neutral and Inclusive towards AI-generated Content
print('We are neutral and inclusive towards AI-generated content.')

#Disclosures
print('Disclosures are up to you. Use them responsibly.')

#Language Barriers
print('If you have language barriers')
print('try using AI-aided tools for editing and finding new words.')

#Cloning
print("Don't feed someone else's idea to ChatGPT for regeneration")

#Prompts
print("Don't ask ChatGPT to write an entire blog.")

And now the final function for using AI as a creative tool:

func refineChatGPTInput(input: String) -> String {
    // Use generated responses to fine tune input
    var refinedInput = input
    
    // Add more details to output
    refinedInput += " Add more details to this output."
    
    // Make sure output is consistent with original ideas
    refinedInput += " This output should stay true to the original ideas."
    
    // Double check accuracy
    refinedInput += " Check for accuracy before submitting."
    
    return refinedInput
}

Reader: Make it concise!

func refineChatGPTInput(input: String) -> String {
    return input + " Add more details to this output. This output should stay true to the original ideas. Check for accuracy before submitting."
}

func refineChatGPTInput(input: String) -> String {
    return input + " Add more details and check accuracy before submitting."
}

Reader: In Python, JS and Go, please!

// Python
def refineChatGPTInput(input):
    return input + " Add more details to this output. This output should stay true to the original ideas. Check for accuracy before submitting."

// JavaScript
function refineChatGPTInput(input) {
    return input + " Add more details to this output. This output should stay true to the original ideas. Check for accuracy before submitting.";
}

// Go
func refineChatGPTInput(input string) string {
    return input + " Add more details to this output. This output should stay true to the original ideas. Check for accuracy before submitting."
}

Reader: Hey, how can I submit a piece to humor bytes? The above is a programming style-guide. Can you write down a programming satire style-guide?

Sure. Just follow the below steps in Swift. If you’re confused, reverse engineer it to any language (including plain English) you want using ChatGPT. In fact, do it for any code snippet, and you’ll find the style-guide is referenced from Better Programming.

from enum import Enum

class SatireType(Enum):
    Good = 1
    Bad = 2

class Emotion(Enum):
    Laugh = 1
    Cry = 2

def submit_to_us(satire: SatireType, emotion: Emotion):
    # Function to submit the piece to us using response
    pass

def makes_me_laugh() -> bool:
    # Returns true if the piece makes the user laugh
    # Returns false if the piece does not make the user laugh
    pass

def makes_me_cry() -> bool:
    # Returns true if the piece makes the user cry
    # Returns false if the piece does not make the user cry
    pass

if makes_me_laugh():
    submit_to_us(SatireType.Good, Emotion.Laugh)
elif makes_me_cry():
    submit_to_us(SatireType.Bad, Emotion.Cry)

# send me anything tech satire related.

stackoverflowed()

abort()